We eventually reached our destination after 16 hours of virtually non-stop driving. While she writes every day, shes also devoted to her own creative outletEmma hand-draws illustrations and is currently learning 2D animation. This is just way too much of a change at once. It's just sickening, you can't even take a simple photo nowadays. It is the extraordinary sensory quality of his prose that enabled Faulkner to get away with writing the longest sentence in literature, at least according to the 1983 Guinness Book of World Records, a passage from Absalom, Absalom! So, we packed everthing up. Except for maybe five and six. Makes you wonder about "reality" television, huh? My mom said that she didn't care. The number of characters in the longest word is also shown. Wellthey are. Of course, you won't want to do that becuase you still need more earrings so people won't think you wear the same ones over and over again. How can you pass up this revolutionary new product? 8 min ago "[4], Last edited on 15 February 2023, at 20:26, An Accommodating Advertisement and an Awkward Accident, "Toward a Connectionist Model of Recursion in Human Linguistic Performance", Quartz: "One of this years Booker Prize nominees is just a 1,000-page-long sentence" 26 July, 2019, "For Passover, wacky Haggadahs feature zombies, Mrs. Maisel, President Trump, more", "This Book Is the Longest Sentence Ever Written and Then Published", "Review: This Book Is The Longest Sentence Ever Written And Then Published by Dave Cowen", https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Longest_English_sentence&oldid=1139572984, This page was last edited on 15 February 2023, at 20:26. That's just silly. All contents of this site were designed for entertainment purposes only. Especially that duct tape. Speaking of publishing, I do plan on somehow, someday publishing this as the first rambling narrative that makes no sense, and is about as interesting as rereading the almanac. Hello, everyone! I'm back! Not only does Faulkners deep affiliation with his characters inner lives elevate his portraits far above the level of local color or regionalist curiosity, but it animates his sentences, makes them constantly move and breathe. To support Open Cultures educational mission, please consider making a donation. Why on earth would we go have way across the world to fight them when we didn't even really need oil?!! They aint whupped us yit, air they? this Jones who after the demon rode away with the regiment when the granddaughter was only eight years old would tell people that he was lookin after Majors place and niggers even before they had time to ask him why he was not with the troops and perhaps in time came to believe the lie himself, who was among the first to greet the demon when he returned, to meet him at the gate and say, Well, Kernel, they kilt us but they aint whupped us yit, air they? who even worked, labored, sweat at the demons behest during that first furious period while the demon believed he could restore by sheer indomitable willing the Sutpens Hundred which he remembered and had lost, labored with no hope of pay or reward who must have seen long before the demon did (or would admit it) that the task was hopeless-blind Jones who apparently saw still in that furious lecherous wreck the old fine figure of the man who once galloped on the black thoroughbred about that domain two boundaries of which the eye could not see from any point. Also, I guess I still am trying to get the world record. This morning, my Mom came home from work. yeah. What has the world come to? Not that I exactly have a word quota for the day. Oh, by the way, I was paid a decent compliment today. After all, no one would really care if I quit updating this site. *yet another highly dramatic, time-consuming sigh* I need a topic. i wandered around for 20 minutes looking for a cell phone. Could the pop-up blocker people have chosen a better means to advertise their product? When I was at a TAB poetry thingy (TAB is good TAB is great We love TAB) I met some new people. I asked her what the golden rule of christianity was. I'm back. **** THAT LIPSTICKS THE WRONG COLOR FOR YOU!! Or his mom did. When she came back, 'lo and behold, she had a tan. *sniffle* Why must this be? GRAVITY IS EVIL! I'm completly and totally addicted. Okay, fill out the TAB form, so I have proof that you bothered to come here anduhI'lluhsend you a sandwich? You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. So the (smallest number) + (middle number) = (largest number) The number 3, 4 and 5 satisfy this condition 3 + 4 = 5 because 3 = 3 x 3 = 9 4 = 4 x 4 = 16 5 = 5 x 5 = 25 and so . This is because she memorizes the questions. Today I had the misfortune of playing a Treasure Planet game on neopets.com It was terrible. I thought of another very good reason to assist with the Official Flaming Chickens Lunar Colony! You seewhen it's hot, you want something cold to eat. Its in the mail, I promise! Most book lovers would agree that coming across a very long sentence in a novel can sometimes require multiple reads to comprehend. Who would have thought I have this much free time? You see, my school has "block" scheduling. c)I have an extremly irrational fear of that. CAT CHOW!!! It's also a pretty prime example of how homonyms (words that share spelling and pronunciation but have different meanings) can really confuse things. There is a world where you are a faerie. Then it would be okay. I think I'll get my little sister to be the test piolet. Anyway, I better go or the quality of this will go down in that evil downward spiral thing I discussed a few months back. OF FREAKIN' COURSE IT WAS FREE! Nowadays, postmodern fiction writers such as John Barth are still influenced by Faulkners run-on technique. When I think of how much money people WASTE on appearences, it makes me feel like projectile vomiting. What's that? With a shake, the future is revealed! *giggling* It's very, very late at nite. Not a member of Pastebin yet? Subliminal messages are an advertising technique that puts hidden pictures and words into a main image. This action has made her very suspicious of where my loyalties lie. If (and this is a big if) the world DOES survive, we can beg them for food, oxygen and other supplies. Either way, Kodak is undeniably evil. It sucks. | 13.45 KB, JSON | Okay, back to the flaming-chickens LTE rivalry. Molly's soliloquy is a touchstone for writers aiming to go long. And today's rant is a sort of philosophical one. And because she was the head fasion bimbo, everyone agreed that the look was definitly "in". The sentence ends up with a 3,609,750-letter . I don't want year-round classes. We find the free courses and audio books you need, the language lessons & educational videos you want, and plenty of enlightenment in between. I pity them, I really do. *sigh* There are no topics anywhere near me. You remember my Moose's arch-enemy, don't you? *pauses* Oh. The Official FLaming-Chickens Handbook already confirms that fact! It was sad. MEOW!MEOW!MEOW! Neo is told that he has two choices. It's because of the "evil little faeries with sharp little teeth." Pikachuwellhe didn't like me. The Longest Story in The World. And I congratulate any reader who has gotten this far. Grapes are used to make jelly, jam, juice and raisins. It's strange. It's really stressfull. Follow him at@jdmagness, by Josh Jones | Permalink | Comments (30) |. For all you know you could be staring at that freaky 3-D maze screen saver with a blank look on your face while you THINK you're reading an inhumanly long text. It's been pretty quiet here lately, which is why I haven't added anything to this text in awhile. I know it was her idea, 'cause my dad hates it, too. Instead they appear to be a nuclear armagedon in the form of a fifth grader. And then the quality will rise. #1You can say or do anything and normal people will agree with you in the hopes that you'll be satisfied, shut up, and go away. It only takes a little light to help those thingies, and smoke detectors provide more than a little. But for a different reason. of toilet paper, to do everything. Thank you Squirell. I am simply explaining why I, personally, refuse to swim, go to the beach, sunbathe, leave the house, etc. You got me started. He then leaves them under his owners car. Okay, if you want to get out, click the little refresh button, okay? Answer me, you blobby looking freak! Since there are many opportunities to communicate with customers and colleagues using e-mail, mastering how to write reply e-mails, subject line expressions, and how to use example sentences is one of the essential skills. Somy lack of a car and driving skills force me to use the bus, which comes for me 45 minutes before my school even starts. Of course, when I started out I accidentally hit the rocks approximately three million times. Anyway, gotta go! You wanna try to convince me I'M crazy? Oh, wellI tired of nostalgia. How did you ever guess? Does the commercial take that into account? | 0.79 KB, JSON | "Purified" water. An enemy so dangerous that Moose fears it above all others. Wellbetter goI need to plan this out moreI'm back. The insanity and stupidity is mind boggling! My entire family is weird. Subscribe!function(m,a,i,l,s,t,e,r){m[s]=m[s]||(function(){t=a.createElement(i);r=a.getElementsByTagName(i)[0];t.async=1;t.src=l;r.parentNode.insertBefore(t,r);return !0}())}(window,document,'script','https://www.openculture.com/wp-content/plugins/mailster/assets/js/button.min.js','MailsterSubscribe'); 2006-2023 Open Culture, LLC. It's a small light, but it's sooooooo annoying. We accept PayPal, Venmo (@openculture), Patreon and Crypto! So if you have an infinite number of people, some are going to have entire books of coherent stuff. And they pushed my toes together. When I tried to talk to him, he tossed it away nonchalantly and pretended he hadn't heard me. Today I added an update page, which is basically a less chaotic, outlined version of this without all the ranting. The World's Longest Sentence (5237 words) by Mark Virtue (1980, aged 15) Once upon a while back there was an ambitious contortionist who made up his mind he would try to conquer the twenty-seventh highest dead volcano on Neptune, with his tongue secretly hiding behind his overweight postman's Swedish Hi-Fi set and the shoelaces of his Persian . longest text ever (most deleted bc max 40000 letters) : (. I put hyphens in both of his titlesit must be a conspiracy! For all you know, you could be halucinating my entire site! I only know that I'm entertaining me, which was my original goal. As in, I was half-asleep, hoping that we'd arrive while I slept. This resourceful young vanguard of fasion decided to cover her extreme embarassment by acting like she meant to horribly damage herself. Okay, better leave. So my dad picked a steak place. Then you'll see these cute little "days-of-the-week" earrings at the mall, and you'll just have to get a few sets, just in case you lose some. To make up quotes from the non-existent Flaming Chicken Handbook, which Im sure you have a copy of. (In a very vast sense) And: did you ever notice that the word "conspiracy" is vastly similar to the word "constipation". the whole time, even during the name-calling, seniors were playing with silly string and beachballs. So, I've decided that Moose works for some secret government organization, and that the feather is the key to the destruction of the world, and I am just blithely letting it enter our home, so that it may furthur its evil plans to destroy the universe. Squirell? For that theory to work, I'd have to be psychicor in possesion of a freaky time-traveling computer. Or I could be like that annoying guy on T.V. Hmmmmmwhat is this world coming to? The world's longest non-life sentence, according to the "Guinness Book of Records", was imposed on Thai pyramid scheme fraudster Chamoy Thipyaso, who was jailed for 141,078 years in 1989. Then, when I win 500 additional np, I move to the 500np point. Jesus Christ is my lord and savior.You guys probably think that that is the worlds longest sentence, but it's not,because I just keep on adding commas, and it's pretty easy, if you think about it, so anyway there is this girl at school and she's my friend, and all but she's turning . "a pokemon game. You see, most people, they don't like reading or writing. *pauses* *groans* I'm sorry for that pun (pierced, hooked, getit?). UnfortunantlyI must leavebefore the confusion spreads and I do something stupidlike revealing my one weakness before youTHAT'S IT! I'm like the little engine that could. You don't see them, but your subconsious (dreaming) mind does. Hmmmmmmm. Was it on purpose, or was it just some mistake? By clicking Accept, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. Just like a real psychologist. I don't WANT to do the same thing for an entire year. I'm back. If iI fill out the fake tab form I'm gonna have to put back as my favorite wordI already have filled it out, though. I gotta go. I'll add that to the FLAMING CHICKENS HANDBOOK. Add comment. While you wait for yesterday's tomorrow, lunge back and remember that day. I think that such gender-specific torture should be deemed inhumane and abolished from our great societyof flaming chickens. You know, the small, white feather. So next semester I'll still have work, AP Lit, and AP Physics. Not that my mother is annoyingjust set in her ways. It's so completly garbled, it's funny. The magic eight-ball is a plastic casing with an unknown, possibly toxic liquid inside. I knowyou are as shocked as I am. I'M FINE! (To this day, however, I will almost literally kill for a box of Cheez-It party mix, as it is a rare commodity at my house.) Some of the pages of this site contain a link encouging the two and a half people to e-mail the Patron Saint of Paper Clips. 16 min ago And secret? I see your EVIL plot now, Hypothetical Reader! But never senile. EryeahI'm back. It was down for a whole day or so 'cause of all the traffic I got from my new quizes. It was inspired, in part, by my sheer and utter boredom. Oh, yeah! Not that the aformentioned individual claims to have received hate mail (or mail of any kind) via a website link. Obviously, you know this. Next thing you know, you're internet connection will die. *blinks* Wowso I'm NOT paranoid. Behind the Scenes: How the British Library Digitizes One of the Worlds Biggest Books, View Leonardo Da Vincis Notebooks Online and Go Inside the Mind of a Genius, Library Places 1,600+ Occult Books Online With Help From The Da Vinci Code Author, 20+ Creative Gifts for People Who Love to Read. Makes you think that the long held belief that Kodak conspired with the JFK assasin(s) is normal. It's about six contestants who compete to create the worst, least likely "reality" TV show. I'm back! i like sugar. And I'm willing to enlighten you, the potentially you-know-what reader. We thank you! Since all that nifty air isn't pressin' on you, your guts and stuff are free to go wherever they want, and the EVIL little things decide to roam around. Ain't it nifty? I hate Math. That way I can spread my love, joy and insane chaos to more people! Okay. Remember: if the show sucks, it's their fault, not ours! I won't be able to feed my various imaginary pets and friends their beloved imaginary food! Even more incredible, this time it's someone I don't even know! Couldn't you just stick some jelly in a piecrust and bake it? At one point, I read an article that stated that it had been proven, conclusivly, that Kansas was flatter than the standard pancake. (Think of the fake-looking Star Trek aliens). I founded the secret message, you ok man? Not neat little text in classifiable rows, in alphabetical order. and even if they could it wouldn't do them any good because it would scare them instead of the aformentioned individual. I hadn't had a genuine sugar rush since I was 11. And let me tell you, it's an outrage. Try it. I love the little tacos, I love them good! That is a direct quote from GIR, co-star and comic-relief on INVADER ZIM. Between her bickering with my sister, and obsessivly playing neopets games, I don't know what to do with her. You say I'm really just talking to myself? You thought you'd gotten rid of me. I guess I'll just rant and rave about that whole vicious downward spiral of my writing. HA-HA! 5 Wonderfully Long Literary Sentences by Samuel Beckett, Virginia Woolf, F. Scott Fitzgerald & Other Masters of the Run-On, Seven Tips From William Faulkner on How to Write Fiction, William Faulkner Reads from As I Lay Dying, Josh Jonesis a writer and musician based in Durham, NC. Well, seeya *waves brightly* I got to go to my Grendel (really cool book) project for school. We believe that this is the longest single sentence in . It can be very confusing, especially if you weren't paying attention in the first place. Well, I dont want to organize this page, in any manner. Thank-you for your time. The end is not here. Wooooooo! You know? Okay, one day, in the future, smoke dectectors will probably activate litte fire-fighter bots that every home will have. Founder @ World's Best Story amplifier of creativity & fun! Oh. Okay. I'm back! *g8ggles* bye. After a horrific chain of events (is it coincidence, or fate) the people who will deactivate the secondary power source of the building Neo is infiltrating, die. 3,861 . You cannot deny it. Seeya! E-mail. I can just see it nowIt could be called Know-Your-Food. I'm back. Sentences can be made arbitrarily long in various ways. Then, when it's in German, or whatever, translate it back to English. (Next Commercial) Get ready fo: Faux's new "reality" TV show, "How Low Can We Go?" If you judged everything by what it doesn't acomplish, then the entire world is populated by pointless beings. "Yep, Bill, time to dump the arsnic in so it tastes pure!" It's okay. I'll just go on and on about how crazy you COULD be. Her enemy is a fake Yorkshire Terrior (same species as her) made entirely out of goat hair. 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I spend from 8-5 doing what everyone else wants. Speaking of food, what's up with pie? You know, the foreign guys with the bellhop hats and the little music thingy and the cute little monkey with the bellhop hat who collects the money? In obscure cookbooks. (No, I don't like any of those creepy "pop" stars. Pop-Up ad's help you get rid of pop-up ads? were stuck in here, (alone my dear) and well problem never get out so dont start to shout. No? Unfortunatly, I once again am devoid of a topic. I am writing to let you know that I have received an email from {name of recipient}. Are you tired. The PSOA have been whole-heartedly working for you, and what have you done for them? Today my frazzled-brain produced something that is decidedly Jenny (that's my more or less "real" name). I'm back. 44 min ago You have to admit its sheer coolness. 516 words 'In the event that the Purchaser defaults in the payment of any instalment of purchase price, taxes, insurance, interest, or the annual charge described elsewhere herein, or shall default in the performance of any other obligations set forth in this . Guess what? That doesn't make any senseyou can't BE something abstractcan you? I was bored, and a dilligent reader suggested I make fake commercials, sotherer they are. Anyway, today's rant is about one of my many and various pet peeves: fasion andstuff. WAIDAMINIT!! During the weekdays, I get about seven hours of sleep (usually less) and wake up at 6:11 a.m. Yep. You can just picture sterotypical pirates saying, "A vast ye mateys!". The only difference is the taste, which I enjoy, since it is new and different. I'll tell you why. I can't think of anything!? My mom did it to her because it was free. I've heard of poems and stuff written by people who were high, insane or paranoid. However . Well, I better leave before I go on and on about more "reality" theories. Ooooo! They add random minerals to our water to make it taste better, and then advertise it as pure! Second of all, you would have to have the patience to read through all of this. You know you want to! Happy? Some are answers to e-mails, the rest are just stuff I wrote. So I at least have an excuse for not doing that. Minerals added for a pure, fresh taste." You give to me? Now, in today's society of buying groceries on-line and getting them delivered, why hasn't any other food industry marketed this ingenius idea to bring the product to the consumer. Last night I was super-charged with lots of sugar and not a lot of sleep. I'm not exactly sure who they are, but: thanks! they liked landing on me. It's true, and all, but I have no proof about wal-mart, or certain fast food resteraunts. You're still here. Then you'll need an "extra" pairfor special occasions. Just exactly like Father if Father had known as much about it the night before I went out there as he did the day after I came back thinking Mad impotent old man who realized at last that there must be some limit even to the capabilities of a demon for doing harm, who must have seen his situation as that of the show girl, the pony, who realizes that the principal tune she prances to comes not from horn and fiddle and drum but from a clock and calendar, must have seen himself as the old wornout cannon which realizes that it can deliver just one more fierce shot and crumble to dust in its own furious blast and recoil, who looked about upon the scene which was still within his scope and compass and saw son gone, vanished, more insuperable to him now than if the son were dead since now (if the son still lived) his name would be different and those to call him by it strangers and whatever dragons outcropping of Sutpen blood the son might sow on the body of whatever strange woman would therefore carry on the tradition, accomplish the hereditary evil and harm under another name and upon and among people who will never have heard the right one; daughter doomed to spinsterhood who had chosen spinsterhood already before there was anyone named Charles Bon since the aunt who came to succor her in bereavement and sorrow found neither but instead that calm absolutely impenetrable face between a homespun dress and sunbonnet seen before a closed door and again in a cloudy swirl of chickens while Jones was building the coffin and which she wore during the next year while the aunt lived there and the three women wove their own garments and raised their own food and cut the wood they cooked it with (excusing what help they had from Jones who lived with his granddaughter in the abandoned fishing camp with its collapsing roof and rotting porch against which the rusty scythe which Sutpen was to lend him, make him borrow to cut away the weeds from the door-and at last forced him to use though not to cut weeds, at least not vegetable weeds -would lean for two years) and wore still after the aunts indignation had swept her back to town to live on stolen garden truck and out o f anonymous baskets left on her front steps at night, the three of them, the two daughters negro and white and the aunt twelve miles away watching from her distance as the two daughters watched from theirs the old demon, the ancient varicose and despairing Faustus fling his final main now with the Creditors hand already on his shoulder, running his little country store now for his bread and meat, haggling tediously over nickels and dimes with rapacious and poverty-stricken whites and negroes, who at one time could have galloped for ten miles in any direction without crossing his own boundary, using out of his meagre stock the cheap ribbons and beads and the stale violently-colored candy with which even an old man can seduce a fifteen-year-old country girl, to ruin the granddaughter o f his partner, this Jones-this gangling malaria-ridden white man whom he had given permission fourteen years ago to squat in the abandoned fishing camp with the year-old grandchild-Jones, partner porter and clerk who at the demons command removed with his own hand (and maybe delivered too) from the showcase the candy beads and ribbons, measured the very cloth from which Judith (who had not been bereaved and did not mourn) helped the granddaughter to fashion a dress to walk past the lounging men in, the side-looking and the tongues, until her increasing belly taught her embarrassment-or perhaps fear;-Jones who before 61 had not even been allowed to approach the front of the house and who during the next four years got no nearer than the kitchen door and that only when he brought the game and fish and vegetables on which the seducer-to-bes wife and daughter (and Clytie too, the one remaining servant, negro, the one who would forbid him to pass the kitchen door with what he brought) depended on to keep life in them, but who now entered the house itself on the (quite frequent now) afternoons when the demon would suddenly curse the store empty of customers and lock the door and repair to the rear and in the same tone in which he used to address his orderly or even his house servants when he had them (and in which he doubtless ordered Jones to fetch from the showcase the ribbons and beads and candy) direct Jones to fetch the jug, the two of them (and Jones even sitting now who in the old days, the old dead Sunday afternoons of monotonous peace which they spent beneath the scuppernong arbor in the back yard, the demon lying in the hammock while Jones squatted against a post, rising from time to time to pour for the demon from the demijohn and the bucket of spring water which he had fetched from the spring more than a mile away then squatting again, chortling and chuckling and saying `Sho, Mister Tawm each time the demon paused)-the two of them drinking turn and turn about from the jug and the demon not lying down now nor even sitting but reaching after the third or second drink that old mans state of impotent and furious undefeat in which he would rise, swaying and plunging and shouting for his horse and pistols to ride single-handed into Washington and shoot Lincoln (a year or so too late here) and Sherman both, shouting, Kill them! As inshe read the ENTIRE Longest Text Ever. Thank the powers that be for spell-check. To support Open Cultures educational mission, please consider, When William Faulkner Set the World Record for Writing the Longest Sentence in Literature: Read the 1,288-Word Sentence from, 100+ Online Degree & Mini-Degree Programs. *gagged reader glares* What's that? I accidently cut it with scizzors. (the mindless fight scenes were really cool, too). NowI'm gonna go and worry about the light on my toaster ovenseeya! Two and a half hours of homework (total) to be precise. Oh, well. I bet you were just breathless in anticipation.